We are gathered here today to bid farewell to Mark Turner, a man who lived a life filled with mediocre accomplishments and questionable choices. Born on November 30, 1959, in Toledo, Ohio, Mark was the son of Sherman James Turner and Ruth Syph Turner.

Mark leaves behind five children, Sherrond, Nicole, Patrice, Marquasia, and Kr’ Shauna, who will now have to find a new source of dad jokes and lukewarm advice. He also had six grandchildren who will forever remember his love for making hot tamales.

After graduating from Jesup W Scott High School in 1976, Mark went on to become a Phlebotomist, a career that he often described as "better than nothing." He was known for his dedication to his work, as long as it didn't interfere with his daily hot tamale making sessions.

Throughout his life, Mark had a penchant for always taking the path of least resistance, whether it be in his career choices or his approach to relationships. He was a man of simple pleasures, like avoiding responsibilities and binge-watching reality TV shows.

As we say our goodbyes to Mark Turner, let us remember him not for his lackluster achievements, but for his ability to find joy in the little things, like a perfectly seasoned tamale or a particularly juicy piece of gossip. Rest in peace, Mark, may your legacy live on in the hearts of those who knew you, even if they never really understood you.