We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Logan Storts, who shuffled off this mortal coil on August 8, 2024, at the tender age of 18. Born on August 20, 2005 in the bustling metropolis of Seoul, South Korea to Brad and Sheri, Logan was known for his unique sense of humor and eccentricities.

Logan leaves behind his spouse Ashton Slack Galiffo, whom he married in year 4. Together, they had one child named Mark Botos. Mark followed in his father's footsteps and pursued a career in prostitution, much to the chagrin of his parents.

Logan was a man of many hobbies, chief among them being his love for jacking off. He could often be found locked in his room, indulging in this favorite pastime to his heart's content.

Unfortunately, Logan's life was cut short due to a tragic car crash. As he drifted off into the great unknown, he leaves behind a legacy of laughter, love, and self-gratification. Rest in peace, Logan Storts. May your hands be forever busy in the afterlife.